What Success Actually Looks Like

I think a lot of people have a messed up of view of what success actually looks like and what it takes to live the type of lifestyle that is characterized by an alpha male. While I definitely think there are several things that go into what determines a life of success versus that of mediocrity, one of the biggest factors is actually doing what you want to do.

Plenty of people wake up every day and live a dream that isn’t theirs. They are working to build up a resume for “that next great opportunity” or they are saving money so that one day they can “do what they want.” Look, I used to be there. I was living a dream that wasn’t my design. I was waking up every single day and going through the motions, just waiting for the weekend to come so that I could get away from my problems and forget about the stuff I had to deal with during the week.

It was a terrible way to live. However, it wasn’t just terrible for the cliché reasons that you have heard 1,000 times like “follow your heart and you will be happy.” I don’t subscribe to that nonsense. At the end of the day, what drives me is success, because long term I know that will bring the most fulfillment and joy into my life.

The crazy thing that I realized was that what I was doing wasn’t actually helping me to get to where I want to go. I was stuck in a situation where I was building a resume so that I could get a banking job. When I took a second to step back and actually look at what was going on, I realized that I was fighting for the scraps in life. Instead of focusing on exactly what I wanted to do, I was too busy on building my plan B.

It was like 95% of my efforts were going into developing a life that I didn’t even want. It is crazy to think about now, but at the time I actually believed in what I was doing. I definitely learned a lot from the experience and wouldn’t give up the lessons I learned, but it also wasn’t the best thing that I could have done.

But one day I woke up and realized how much nonsense it was. I don’t know what happened within me, but something snapped. I realized that I was putting up with being treated poorly by those who I didn’t respect. I realized that I was spending countless hours a day doing things that weren’t going to help me in the long run. I realized that the entire time that I was helping someone else further their own agenda, I was taking away from my own freedom and personal expression, making it that much harder to eventually go for what I wanted.

I don’t know how I came to these brutal conclusions, but I did. And when it happened, that thing inside of me, that thing that drives you at your deepest core, I couldn’t stay. It was like a switch was flipped on that had remained dormant for years. There was a beast awakened. A hunger came on inside of me like never before and I realized that I needed to go after what I wanted, NOW.

I didn’t need to save up some money. I didn’t need to wait until I had a better job for security. I didn’t need to wait to get the permission of my family, friends, and girlfriend. I didn’t need to wait on anyone. That was the most liberating part of the self-discovery. When I stripped away all of the nonsense, I was just left with me. This was my human experience and I would be the sole one responsible for how it turned out.

When I am old I don’t want to look back and think “what if.” I know people say that all the time, but I’m not people. I am someone who decided to pull the trigger and charge forward in life. I looked the status quo in the face and told it to screw off. I looked at everyone around me and made the conscious decision that I wouldn’t be them. I would be my own man and live a life of my own design.

If there is even a small piece inside of you that thinks you would be happier following your true passion, you are right. There are opportunities like never before to make a change. You have unbelievable platforms at your fingertips that command the attention of thousands of people. Think of the worst case scenario. Is it going to happen? No. But considering it will make you realize that the worst case scenario isn’t even something to be afraid of.

“But what if you have to move back in with your parents?” Yeah, that sounds terrible. You’re right. You shouldn’t even try to go after what I want in life. “But I have no money and I will end up broke and homeless.” Yeah, because you can’t get a job at virtually any restaurant and be a server and make $15 an hour on average with tips. “But what will my friends think of me?” Most people aren’t your friends, they are your acquaintances. True friends want the best for you. When is the last time that person contacted you just to check on you? Probably never.

Also realize that even people who truly love and care for you don’t want to see you succeed. It is a crazy phenomenon but it rings true. People resist change. Your loved ones don’t want to see you become an alpha man and live a baller lifestyle because they were too afraid to go for it when they had the chance and now every single time they look at you a deep pain will arise when they realize the type of life they could have lived if they would have gone for it.

If you are reading this, it is time to make a change. Real success is waking up every single day and knowing that you are living into the world, giving your fullest gifts as a man, holding nothing back and expecting nothing in return. The beautiful thing is, though, that when you expect nothing in return, the universe finds a way to reward you.

3 comments on “What Success Actually Looks Like”

  1. Tony Reply

    I never considered the part about family and friends, but it makes a lot of sense.

    • Alex Reply

      Yeah same here, but I can already see some of this happening in my life when I think about it.

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